fluttering laughter

Like a child she came hoping around joyfully, excited.

Extreme emotions always stops us from expressing ourselves in any way loud.

When there’s such laughter in the smile in front of your eyes…

How can there be no reflections?

A nocturnal encounter

Slowly but surely did your inflection soothe

Slowly but never surely did I move in close

.

.

.

There was never a need on the other side

Of boundaries and wire fences to stop my stride

With fields as wide as my tongue could spell

To run and to explore and to dig around

Wandering around, a bit confused and surprised,

Eyes wide open, yet Into my own grave, I soon fell.

 

No helping hand is offered for me to get out

Just a smiling stare to see me crawl back out

I am just as welcome now to see around

If I can but dare to stand your silence and its mocking sound

 

Even though I knew every single line in the palm of my hand

I now understood, one can never know every single grain of sand

Some graves you must first lie in

If the dirt above you want to tread in

Into your books I have now again entered

A few of your pages I too have now gathered

 

~ These few lines I don’t write on purpose

for the poem, never should disturb the prose ~

 

The days drowsiness finally crawled over the night

As your voice it started to fade into your breath

Silence was louder now with the sounds of your whisper,

and my voice it was betrayed by the the faintest of quiver.

 

A few metal pieces fell off the skin of my face,

and my heart on it left the slightest trace.

 

And with such inhibitions that I now leave behind

Sit down, that perfect line of yours first to find.

.

.

.

Slowly but never surely did my inflections soothe

Slowly but surely I did move in close.

In between a reality and a dream

In between a reality and a dream ~

 

With a little help from nature

I break realities and pass through them

unraveling memories, most cherished

yet slowly, even the wounds uncover

 

that laughter and that precious smile

slowly I walk deeper into the darker aisle

my sinister conscience and I, lost in between realities

the laughter burns the wounds to heal

 

through a window between my reality

I see you, small and meek

soft and vulnerable, just for my sake

looking up with all your innocence

weaker now, I caress you, playfully

 

the feeling of your grip,

my mind is lost for a second

jolted back by my shoulder

when your arms, my elbow they tug

 

how tender and pure

this feeling from your eyes

with back bent back, you submit to me

and just as sparkles a flicker of surrender

I stumble into the pits of my fear

 

a will to walk through the fire

and open my eyes with an understanding

beneath this thick layer

is a deeply wounded, sensitive skin

or pick up my knife

stab to defeat my stronger self

and wait for death by my own blood,

when with this blood, I put out the fire

 

in between realities, by fear am I, once again caught

and in this tricky space of darkness

I try and hide from a mean looking thought

it threatens to come to me and steal away my reality

 

and leave a thought, behind that insanity

was there nothing true and how deep did I fall ?

from when do I start and how far do I go back ?

and if I accept, shall I rejoice

that you don’t live there anymore..

 

I ask for confirmation, but it’s all dark here

I can’t see where I am going or what is it that I seek

not to be crushed by my own wall

this burden I seek to now free

and try to keep my sanity, till the end of this street

 

a nightmare I see when I wake up

try to force my way back to where I was once happy

but the dream is now broken and you fade away into my worst fear

that dream once broken just won’t take me back

how then shall I erase my scar from your hearts chain

and once again, how shall I make you believe

to wake up from your dream will be by my worst nightmare

When Four Friends Stumble Into A Bar..

Four the stones they looked apart

but in the laughter between them colliding

I could hear the music of where each of their songs start

and in this chaos are all four of us now swinging.

 

By only the second bottle does the fourth pebble fall

And as I drank from the stream, the sea it laughed about the river

Now the other two they danced in a separate hall

And above all our heads the night she seemed would stay forever…

A dream I still remember

I do not understand if I should call it a dream, for there was nothing abstract about it.

Looked straight through my cold eyes with its own warm gaze, dancing around the

faintest of metaphors.

 

I could now see those trodden dusty paths of sorrow,

I understood the confusion between my brows,

and I swallowed down tomorrow.

 

Just to know if my palms could feel, what my breath could no longer justify,

I held the wind by its shoulders, as it softly pushed me away.

 

Knowing now I would then be in regret,

still with bended knees, her doorway I crossed.

The stairs I was not allowed to climb,

But still, that gaze would hold me, by each limb.

Together to swallow our hunger, I could no longer stay

To later devour, this memory I could have, she’d say.

Seasons in my mind

It is winter today,
with the chill
of the morning
on my face.

As day breaks
I return home,
with friends I
had drank and I
had laughed, all night.

while I walk to
where the bus
comes get me,
I smile and,
I hold my pace

’tis when i realize,
of all the places
that we’ve been,
friends are always,
memories sweetest sight.

The autumn paints the dead,
soft and yellow.
while memory speaks
in voices,
sweet and mellow

With a smile
on my face,
I look around
and wonder,
why can’t we
just be free
and go on forever ?

The sparrows they
turn to me,
ask me, why
don’t you remember ?

how it has
started to rain,
I understood this
only too well.
her tears when,
well through my
eyes, they fell.

It must have
been summer yesterday.
my brows they wet,
my eyes all day.

it came mixed with
these salty waters,
and slowly over
my back, did
all my anger run.
Stayed up till
each star disappears,
But all I
really did, was
blame the sun.

Moving slowly, yet,
I stumble over
memories in my mind.

as the night
she sprinkles chaos
all over my darkness.

at each and every stumble
I remember random seasons
when tomorrow again,
the flame in my heart,
will just be ashes in my mind.

And yes they look
just as pretty
even now.
And yes I miss them
just as much
even now.

Incomplete

For words someday
to run out of,
a few letters
are left scattered,
on the way.

in the night,
there still is meaning
in the sunlight.
But a misunderstanding,
is just a single
ray of light.

Summer after sunset

A little boy flutters along the sea shore.
Neither the waves nor his curiosity,
breaks the sand castle.