fluttering laughter

Like a child she came hoping around joyfully, excited.

Extreme emotions always stops us from expressing ourselves in any way loud.

When there’s such laughter in the smile in front of your eyes…

How can there be no reflections?

A nocturnal encounter

Slowly but surely did your inflection soothe

Slowly but never surely did I move in close

.

.

.

There was never a need on the other side

Of boundaries and wire fences to stop my stride

With fields as wide as my tongue could spell

To run and to explore and to dig around

Wandering around, a bit confused and surprised,

Eyes wide open, yet Into my own grave, I soon fell.

 

No helping hand is offered for me to get out

Just a smiling stare to see me crawl back out

I am just as welcome now to see around

If I can but dare to stand your silence and its mocking sound

 

Even though I knew every single line in the palm of my hand

I now understood, one can never know every single grain of sand

Some graves you must first lie in

If the dirt above you want to tread in

Into your books I have now again entered

A few of your pages I too have now gathered

 

~ These few lines I don’t write on purpose

for the poem, never should disturb the prose ~

 

The days drowsiness finally crawled over the night

As your voice it started to fade into your breath

Silence was louder now with the sounds of your whisper,

and my voice it was betrayed by the the faintest of quiver.

 

A few metal pieces fell off the skin of my face,

and my heart on it left the slightest trace.

 

And with such inhibitions that I now leave behind

Sit down, that perfect line of yours first to find.

.

.

.

Slowly but never surely did my inflections soothe

Slowly but surely I did move in close.

In between a reality and a dream

In between a reality and a dream ~

 

With a little help from nature

I break realities and pass through them

unraveling memories, most cherished

yet slowly, even the wounds uncover

 

that laughter and that precious smile

slowly I walk deeper into the darker aisle

my sinister conscience and I, lost in between realities

the laughter burns the wounds to heal

 

through a window between my reality

I see you, small and meek

soft and vulnerable, just for my sake

looking up with all your innocence

weaker now, I caress you, playfully

 

the feeling of your grip,

my mind is lost for a second

jolted back by my shoulder

when your arms, my elbow they tug

 

how tender and pure

this feeling from your eyes

with back bent back, you submit to me

and just as sparkles a flicker of surrender

I stumble into the pits of my fear

 

a will to walk through the fire

and open my eyes with an understanding

beneath this thick layer

is a deeply wounded, sensitive skin

or pick up my knife

stab to defeat my stronger self

and wait for death by my own blood,

when with this blood, I put out the fire

 

in between realities, by fear am I, once again caught

and in this tricky space of darkness

I try and hide from a mean looking thought

it threatens to come to me and steal away my reality

 

and leave a thought, behind that insanity

was there nothing true and how deep did I fall ?

from when do I start and how far do I go back ?

and if I accept, shall I rejoice

that you don’t live there anymore..

 

I ask for confirmation, but it’s all dark here

I can’t see where I am going or what is it that I seek

not to be crushed by my own wall

this burden I seek to now free

and try to keep my sanity, till the end of this street

 

a nightmare I see when I wake up

try to force my way back to where I was once happy

but the dream is now broken and you fade away into my worst fear

that dream once broken just won’t take me back

how then shall I erase my scar from your hearts chain

and once again, how shall I make you believe

to wake up from your dream will be by my worst nightmare

When Four Friends Stumble Into A Bar..

Four the stones they looked apart

but in the laughter between them colliding

I could hear the music of where each of their songs start

and in this chaos are all four of us now swinging.

 

By only the second bottle does the fourth pebble fall

And as I drank from the stream, the sea it laughed about the river

Now the other two they danced in a separate hall

And above all our heads the night she seemed would stay forever…

A dream I still remember

I do not understand if I should call it a dream, for there was nothing abstract about it.

Looked straight through my cold eyes with its own warm gaze, dancing around the

faintest of metaphors.

 

I could now see those trodden dusty paths of sorrow,

I understood the confusion between my brows,

and I swallowed down tomorrow.

 

Just to know if my palms could feel, what my breath could no longer justify,

I held the wind by its shoulders, as it softly pushed me away.

 

Knowing now I would then be in regret,

still with bended knees, her doorway I crossed.

The stairs I was not allowed to climb,

But still, that gaze would hold me, by each limb.

Together to swallow our hunger, I could no longer stay

To later devour, this memory I could have, she’d say.

Society

Conceived to enhance survival
yet evolved as a parasite.

’twas born to serve,
yet enslaved the very body.

The circle of my life,
will not be drawn
the other way round.

I am not,
for its purpose.
’tis for mine.

If not, without it
I am quite fine.

Damned

I have become

Like a dam that

Even when it’s full

Will not release the water

Instead I wait

Even at the risk of bursting

For the water to evaporate

Waiting to go dry

And then I wonder

Looking at these cracks

Was there ever even

Any water to hold?

’tis when you have lost who you were, that you exaggerate of who you could be.

your sweet games

your touch so soft
beneath thin skin.
the dreams in
those innocent eyes,
my heart it skips
over every doubt.

realization welcomes another smile
and however one may choose to try
there’s no escaping such innocence
and then soon the music too plays.

this child is sly
but so are sweet,
little girls.
glimpses of cunning mischief,
then a goddess dancing
on her god.

but the heart still longs
a while, little longer.
till all her fire
satisfies his gaze.

and perhaps hold back,
till just before a dance
but then that first sin,
of a kiss happens.

there’s no leaving now
silence may heave.
once more the air
it is nostalgic.
the music fades into a déjà vu
tell me, did we dance too ?

now its such,
a beautiful day.
the music,the waves they play.
see that spotlight
in the sky.
under the night
and her moon,
why its the stars
and the blue black sky.

moments count the silence in time.

you throw a stone
up into the air,
without looking
to where it strayed.

across the fields
the fog is smoking,
in the scent of the air.
sounds of an orchestra,
frogs & critters playing
and in some corner,
a group of birds too.
in the deep silent lake
the blue sky sits still.

in between conversations
moments pass by.
just like an old memory
the stone just slips by.

only a glimpse
without a clue,
is what you
manage to catch.

ripples of that memory
in time they trace
back to you,
silent & patient
if you can wait.